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Romney, Santorum Form Joint Ticket

Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum turned the political world upside down today by announcing that they had formed a joint ticket for the Republican presidential campaign.  The former antagonists declared that the bruising primary contests of the past several months were behind them, and their new-found solidarity was evident in everything from their smiles to their repartee with a stunned press corps.  “As long as Mitt doesn’t fire me, we’ll be fine,” joshed Santorum, while Romney laughingly added, “I guess I passed the religious test.”

More seriously, the two candidates assured their supporters that they see eye to eye on key principles of the Republican campaign: ending the class war and making America strong by transferring wealth upwards and overseas; cutting big government by reducing public education and ending public insurance programs such as “Obamacare,” “Medicare,” and “Social Security,” and restoring American values by returning to the comprehensive subordination of women.

Some differences were still evident, however.  For example, it seems clear that Santorum would prefer Christian theocratic rule at the federal level, whereas Romney believes that it should only be allowable in the states and private corporations.  The two men preferred to see such disagreements as a strength of the ticket.  “It’s good to have these discussions in the executive office,” Romney said.  Santorum agreed, as “that way the full range of opinion is represented before the President makes a decision.”

The White House declined comment on such short notice, but an anonymous staffer acknowledged that the two GOP candidates appeared to be a very attractive couple.

Photograph by Jae C. Hong/Associated Press.

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Romney, Santorum Form Joint Ticket

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