Neither John nor I give a damn about St. Patrick’s Day, but it did seem odd that it would be moved to protect Holy Monday from contamination. Is nothing sacred?

So it is that we offer this retrospective:

In Chicago, they dye the river green. They do so by adding orange. Question: what + orange = green? Second question: Do we really want to know?

As you can see, he has a special hat for the parade.

OK, the Church may have a point after all.